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 News Flash! Society has changed when it comes to dating. Swimming the murky waters of society as a single person can often be difficult. Especially if you are looking for a relationship! Time tested methods of meeting “someone special” have always been: bars, friends and work. That might have worked for your parents and grandparents, but the dating world has evolved.
Consider for a moment, the landscape...
Thirty years ago, we knew our neighbours; you could walk up to someone on the street and introduce yourself, or you could go to a bar to meet someone new. Not true today. We keep to ourselves for the most part. Sure, we go to bars, but we usually go with groups of people we already know. If you’re approached by a stranger on the street, your first response is defensive...”what do you want?” The workplace has never been more sterile. Professionalism, security and career have never been pursued more aggressively. What happens if things don’t work out with someone you’ve met at work? Would you leave? Could you continue to work with them? Some employers won’t take the risk and have adopted inter-company fraternization policies that discourage co-workers from starting personal relationships. And let’s not forget how busy we are balancing personal, social and professional responsibilities.
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So what do we do?
We keep plugging away! We get out there, and socialize. We also look for alternatives. The biggest change to the dating scene in the last 10 years has been online dating. By the end of 2004, there were no fewer than 800 websites dedicated to dating. That number had been reduced by more than 30% by 2007. For all intents and purposes, online dating had replaced what the bar scene was doing in the 70’s and 80’s. Society had found a new way to get out there and meet people... all at arm’s length. With a little effort you could do something about being single! A little more time and you might even meet people from the chat rooms. Where do you go from there? What do you want to know about him/her? Are your goals the same? How do you know it’s the truth? These questions play themselves out repeatedly and often, regardless of the way you’ve met someone. Meeting is just the beginning to starting a relationship. In fact, it’s probably the easy part.
If the goal is to be happy in a long-term, committed relationship, then the work has just begun and the clock is ticking. Some people recognize the challenges right away and chalk it up to “casual dating”. Others find themselves in 3-6 month relationships that “didn’t work out”, and still others find themselves a few years older, but much “wiser”.
LifeMates believes that taking care of compatibilities first and foremost can save daters a lot of wasted time. Lifestyles, attitudes, values and goals should all be in-line before you entertain the notion of chemistry. Attraction is easy! Just walk down the street and you`ll see plenty of people you would date. But what do you know about them? Would they make you happy? Remember, meeting is just the beginning.
Matchmaker Tip of the Month
 "Go to meet your date to enjoy the experience. The date is to explore common lifestyles, values, attitudes, and goals. Try not to question one another too personally or relentlessly at this meeting. Look for reasons to like the person you have just met. Project your positive energy about being hopeful of meeting the “right” person that you can fall in love with. Even if your date is not the “one”, be cordial and considerate. Use the experience to define your preferences and refine your dating style and skills. You never know when it will happen, who this person knows, or if the chemistry will evolve. Especially if you make snap choices about someone you hardly know."
Have a question for our Matchmakers? Send an email to membersupport@lifematescanada.com and you may find your question featured in the next newsletter.
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Match of the Month
 What Richard said
Just to let you know, everything is going really well with my referral Marie. We are very happy together and have decided to stop looking - no more referrals needed!
I would just like to thank all of the staff at Lifemates for your fantastic work and support.
Richard
What Marie said
Things between Richard and I are going wonderfully. When LifeMates first shared his information with me, I thought that maybe he and I might not been a match, but after speaking to the amazing Lifemates representatives I agreed to give it a try and I am so thankful that I did. We met several times - as friends. We did not base our meetings on simple attraction and we really developed a true love for each other. He is calm, patient and loving. We are totally in sync with one another and we have fallen in love. We see each other every day and have a lot of similarities in interests and hobbies. We are planning a ten day trip after Christmas. This has been a very progressive relationship and exactly what I wanted out of a dating service.
Marie
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