When the immediate impact passes,
many people will move toward the Pain and Sorrow phase of healing. Most of the time, you feel fine. You are back to work, back to school or back to functioning effectively – but this sorrow can strike anytime. You’re watching a movie, see a couple enjoying each other’s company, the holidays pass or a birthday is celebrated. Suddenly there is sadness and we are left thinking, “I thought I was past all this!” This stage can last for various lengths of time, but one thing is sure: we can get through this faster and healthier with the help of love. Fear and anxiety can also hold you back because of the confusion these emotions can cause.
Where you really turn the corner and can begin to move forward in a relationship is when you arrive at the Release and Resolution phase of grief. This comes with a sense of acceptance and the feeling of letting go. Now is the time to explore the idea of dating again- baby-steps. Get out and mingle. Try some casual dating and take note of who you have become. How has a change in marital status changed you? You have a wonderful opportunity to grow from these experiences!
The steps of grieving are important to a person’s long-term mental/emotional health, but when do you know when you’re ready? The easy answer is: When you start thinking about it! It starts subconsciously with the feeling that ‘something’ is missing and culminates as a desire. Love is a ‘want’ thing, not a ‘need’ thing. Many people will tell themselves that they are happy being alone and give up looking. Some people will throw themselves into work and family. Others will settle with distracting relationships and find themselves passing time. The reality is that we all want to be in a healthy, happy relationship, but do we have the patience and focus to find the right person? Ask yourself: Do I want to fall in love? Do I want to love someone? These are the barometer questions. If you answer ‘yes’ to both these questions, then LifeMates can help you. Our members want a healthy relationship with someone who is emotionally available, meets their physical criteria and shares lifestyle, attitudes, values and goals. Do you?
Are you on the rebound? Have you healed? Are you just passing time?
A "good" conversation is a 2-way street. Know when to ask questions and when to listen. Do not give too much information all at once. Bear in mind that all of the circumstances that led you to this point in your dating life, may not all be positive and you do NOT want to come across as bitter or negative. Remain positive at all times- It looks very attractive. Don't be afraid to ask questions as long as it's appropriate. Topics to avoid: religion, politics, weight or finances.
What Lorraine said
